Being one of the bros seems like a perfect position to hold. You can be the confidant and listen to what a guy really thinks, which can be quite a rarity. Guys won't feel pressure to do that weird thing they do when they act like someone else around you. Everything can go seamlessly, unless one of two things happen: you fall in love or you change yourself to fit in. Then it becomes a slippery slope.

There's a new wave sweeping college campuses across the nation: the hookup culture. It's easily one of the most confusing and frustrating types of relationships for girls and guys alike. Honestly, I don't think I've gone more than a few hours without hearing someone complain about the vagueness of it. "Hooking up" can mean anything now-a-days and what comes after often throws the participants into a whirlwind. Whether our generation is afraid of commitment or simply just wants to embrace our freedom and individuality, girls are finally adapting to a mindset that has been previously only been owned by men. Whether it's a one night stand, friends-with-benefits, or a relationship without the title, girls are embracing our own inner "Samantha's". That is both liberating and hazardous.



While I'm all for girls embracing their inner Samantha's and adopting a nonchalant attitude towards guys, I do think we need to be aware of how sensitive this is for both sexes. While low-key hooking up and no-strings attached relationships seem fun, how realistic are they? How long can two people be romantically involved without being romantic? And sorry fellas, but this one isn't just for the ladies. Believe it or not, guys are just as apt to "catch feelings" as girls are. While hooking up might be fun for a while, like all relationships, sooner or later it's going to develop into something more or it's going to cease to exist. In either situation, someone is likely to compromise their feelings, compromise what they truly want and feel, in order to keep the other happy with the ambiguity and looseness of the relationship. In other words, we settle. Whether it be settling for someone you like that treats you bad or settling for a relationship that you don't really want, settling is never healthy.




As if that's not a whole lecture on it's own, trying to fit in with the boys can make a girl want to completely reinvent herself. It's not a new concept that women have been altering themselves to fit in. However, now a days it can be dangerous because in most cases, girls are changing vital and crucial parts of themselves mentally and emotionally in order to seem more attractive. While trying to fit in with the opposite sex, there is absolutely nothing with rocking those sweats and ditching your makeup (good for you, girl!). However, it is when these changes come in the way we act and respond to life around us that it becomes volatile. Picking up a new interest in the NBA isn't a sin. Actually kudos for you for trying to be more well rounded. However, holding in your emotions and feelings because you don't want to seem dramatic isn't healthy. Everyone, girls and guys alike, should be entitled to a good meltdown every now and again (in the right time and place, of course). So while it might not be appropriate to drunk cry to kitten videos on YouTube, it is very appropriate to vent after having a bad day. Also, be very aware of your situations. Subconsciously, when hanging out with a lot of guys a girl can feel the need to keep up with their drinking speed. Not only is this dangerous, but it's downright stupid. Know your limits, in every sense of the word.




Of course there are some good takeaways from observing a bro's girl. Apart from being able to raid all of your guy friend's closets for comfy sweatpants (one's with ACTUAL pockets), being one of the guys can teach you how to be an assertive and independent girl. A guy's girl is laid back and confident. While you don't have to fit the bill at all times, radiating self-assurance is attractive to everyone and will help self medicate you when you don't feel as sure of yourself as you want to. She doesn't freak out over little things like how long a guy is taking her to text back because she doesn't need a man. Trust me, that one takes practice. But she is self-confident enough to (politely) call someone out when she's not being treated the way she deserves. No matter what your relationship status is or who your friends are, just make sure to never lose yourself in the craziness. Like what you like and love who you love and never let anyone tell you that your feelings are invalid and wrong. Don't stop loving Malibu Bay Breezes and glitter and winged eyeliner just because it's not what a girl that's one of the guys does. Embrace your quirks and imperfections and likes and passions and just do you.


Infinite x's and o's,
Kylee