If you're like me, you're fascinated with the idea of love and romance. One of the most compelling thoughts to me is the fact that you never really find the "right one" without finding the wrong one. While the path to everlasting love has the most beautiful possible ending, it is always made complicated by the bad apples that cause heartbreak. So here are a couple red flags I've picked up on on my path of love and war.
He acts differently when you're alone versus when you're with other people
One of the most frustrating things I've ever dealt with is a guy who was perfect... when we were alone. He would be affectionate and caring when it was just the two of us, but when we were out together he acted like he barely knew me. It was so frustrating because no matter how hard I tried it seemed like I was never really good enough for him. In the end, obviously it didn't work out because, call me crazy, but you should be proud of your significant other.
He doesn't try to make you laugh
Life's hard sometimes. When your world is crumbling around you, I think the only way you can get through it sometimes is just laughing. Having someone who wants to provide you with a little bit of happiness is everything. If a guy doesn't put in the time or energy into making you laugh, you shouldn't put in the time or energy into the relationship.
He doesn't take pictures with you
I once was with a guy in a beautiful farm in Pennsylvania. I asked him to take a picture and he looked at me and said "I don't do pictures" and walked back to the car. To me, this was a sign of his intentions with me. Capturing a moment is making something fleeting permanent. If he can't take a picture with you, he probably doesn't see you as that permanent.
You feel weird after you hook up
Being intimate with someone is opening up a whole other side of yourself. If you give a person this side of you and then feel uncomfortable afterwards, he's not the one. End of story.
He doesn't value your time together
I'm not asking for you to run to me every time you see me, but wanting to be around me is important. He doesn't need to go above and beyond, but if he doesn't actually seem to value being around you then he's not the one.
He's never tried to "woo you"
I don't need roses on my doorstep and five star dinners, but when you try to impress someone it shows you care about them. I'll try to impress you by wearing things that make me feel pretty to try to radiate that feeling to you. You can play my favorite song and slow dance in the kitchen with me. That's all I need.
He doesn't talk about a future together
If a guy is wary about the words "commitment", "relationship", and "together", I understand. But don't expect him to change.
He doesn't challenge you to be a better person
Call me out when I do something wrong. Compliment me when I do something right. Make me want to be better. If not, you clearly are unaffected by how I am as a person.
He doesn't want to be your friend
Relationships are more than just physical. A guy should always want to be your friend in the regard that he cares about how you feel and listens to what you have to say,
He doesn't make an effort to see you
If you can go days without seeing you, than you probably don't mean that much to him. But if he goes out of his way to see you or talk to you, then he's a keeper.
He can't keep your secrets
If you can't tell him something in confidence and know he's going to keep it, you shouldn't trust him with your heart.
He's never genuinely complimented you
I mean really complimented YOU. Not "wow your boobs are awesome" but like "you have an amazing spirit" or even "you're really smart".
He doesn't value you for the amazing person you are
I'll tell you what I tell my friends: If a guy can't see how beautiful, smart, talented, caring, and loving you are HE DOESN'T DESERVE YOU.
What are your dating red flags?
infinite x's and o's,